Parakitamol's Blog

Balderdash and Claptrap

Red Elastic Band Voodoo


The delinquent postman drops at least 2 elastic bands (used to bundle up the post) on the drive each week. Lazy militant sickly postmen. Hate the fuckers.

It might seem trivial but it’s becoming rather irksome now. I’m always picking up the wretched things and  my cats are inclined to chew on them. Which, as anyone dealing with a hacking vomiting cat knows, is not good!

I am now collecting them in order to create a life sized voodoo doll of him (postman not cat). I have already finished the head (see below).

It will, over the weekend be fashioned into this type of arrangement. Which I will present to him nailed to the front door with a chirpy message attached, reading “this is you. you “.


Author: parakitamol

Irrelevant. Not a lover or a fighter. I run with scissors. Boil me the bag but thaw before freezing. Last fuel for 134 miles. Liar. Sometimes funny. I don't suffer fools. My words are for my amusement. If you read them great, if you enjoy them, even better..... If you don't like them at all... then you've made my life complete.

2 thoughts on “Red Elastic Band Voodoo

  1. They use those little rubber bands to wank themselves off whilst they are doing their round.

  2. Here is the postman’s song:

    I’ve got a tight red rubber band on my knob
    When I’m delivering the post it really does the job.
    There’s nothing that gives me a bigger stiffy
    I come like mad right in a jiffy.
    It really is such a thrill
    Although thieving letters is better still

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