Parakitamol's Blog

Balderdash and Claptrap

Personal space

There have been many rants about travelling on public transport. This entry is not intended as an original or intellectual construct.      

I just find it cathartic to document, in writing, just how much I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE, sometimes.      

I’m not quite sure, just at what point people depart from their usual points of behaviour reference? Perhaps they don’t, perhaps they also shove their wives, children, families and friends at home?      

The behaviour I find most irksome is method by which fat people, hunt down small people, already perfectly seated within the spacial boundaries of their train seat,  in order to plant themselves in the adjacent space. Purely so they can accommodate 1  & 1/2 places.      

Here is a small diagram I produced to explain the foul overspill.      

No fatties please


As well as the space stealing, they also emply a secondary tactic. If they chance upon two vacant seats together, they choose the outside seat. They are fully aware the vacant half-space next to the window beside them is now the ‘last child to be picked at sports day’.      

Once I was forced to request that whale-man move in order that I takek the ‘last child’ seat.  Instead of a disgruntled ‘ok’…. The response was “oh for fuck’s sake”, follwed by the most dramatic performance of slowly putting all this things away, folding his paper, then heaving his vast existence fro, the seat. At the end of the journey, he repeated the same, slowly packing up and generously waiting for everyone to exit whilst I had no choice but to remain trapped…. his tiny fragments of brain cell desperate to ‘punish’ me. He glanced, smugly at me, enjoying his ‘moment’, I had little choice but to reply sweetly, offering sympathy and patience towards his struggle, and just as my exit route appeared, I observed that fat people  weren’t always ‘jolly’ las folklore would have it..      

That’s just fat people.      

I’ll do eating/drinking/makeup applying/heart-attacks/talking to stranger/phones/rucksacks and other travel offences another time.


Author: parakitamol

Irrelevant. Not a lover or a fighter. I run with scissors. Boil me the bag but thaw before freezing. Last fuel for 134 miles. Liar. Sometimes funny. I don't suffer fools. My words are for my amusement. If you read them great, if you enjoy them, even better..... If you don't like them at all... then you've made my life complete.

Comments are closed.