I love to spend a lazy hour or two mooching around a good (or bad) art gallery. However, I’m equally likely to be angered as inspired…..
Here’s why; the sheer arrogance and self-absorbtion, seeping through the descriptions. Yes I’m on that trip again……
Here we present the ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’, it might appear, to the uneducated viewer (that’s you, what do YOU know about the art?)…..that the ‘artist’, his family and all his many pets, have crawled around in thick pools of murky coloured oils slapped onto a canvas. But no, you would be incorrect to assume that you crazy heathen. He has spent months at work in his studio, dousing himself in his own importance, eventually giving birth (with no pain relief) to his creation.
Then, when it’s dry, he will pick words at random beginning with letters chosen from alphabettispaghetti soup, to create our deeply insightful gallery description. If you don’t get it, then you are too stupid to be in this Gallery, admiring the art. Please leave quietly.
“She creates new worlds using a variety of collected media, found images and associations, by placing them into a glittery collage; a process she calls ‘appropriarranging“: appropriating and rearranging reality. Oh get the fuck over yourself love, it’s the bastard son of HobbyCraft and Blue Peter with a bit more glitter.
Yeah yeah, I have a degree in art too, it doesn’t mean I’m going to swallow this bullshit just because you’ve wrapped it up in pretentious linguistic codswallop.
Oh some of it was pretty good too. Some.